Unzipped...

Unzipped...

I have heard the following quotes several times in the last few months... "You are too young to be going through this!" , "You don't look sick!" ,"Your too young to have a pacemaker!","You look fine to me" ( I had a nurse say that when I was in the hospital, not even looking at my chart or my vitals) ...

Of course I agree, with the fact that I feel too young to be going through this, but it just is. I cannot change it now. I must admit, that hearing people say these things to me is building into a frustration. How do a respond to any of these statements? "Oh I look fine, well then send me home, I must be OK, I don't really want to be here anyways!" "Or, I am too young, I am going to cancel this surgery and wait until I am 65!" I am glad I am being told I do not look sick, I certainly am not going for the "sickly" appearance! I try very hard to not look sick although I have feel like I look haggard at the end of the day a lot lately! I know that this post sounds a bit sarcastic or angry, especially for me. I have tried very hard to be positive in any thing that I put out into cyber space. I do not want to be "Debbie Downer", I want to be the person full of energy and positivity. I do feel like I have spots of being positive throughout this experience. Honestly, I am at the most positive emotionally and mentally being prepared to have the surgery than I have been during this entire journey. If I can single out this part of my life and put all the outside factors going on in my family , I am ready. I am ready to take this on and feel better! I feel like this is going to be the catalyst to feeling physically better. In fact I am so positive about how much better I will feel after the surgery, that I hope I am not setting myself up for disappointment!

So next time you see someone that is ill or is going through emotional issues, mentally unzip them! Not in a sexual way, I am not talking about unzipping clothing, think about unzipping the skin, and realizing that there is more going on inside people than the eye may see. I am not suggesting that you don't try to give encouraging words! I know I need those, and I have been surrounded by people that have blessed me with encouragement! Just take a moment, and think about the words you are saying, and what could be possible responses to those words?

I Hope that I am getting my point across well. I am not intending to judge statements people have made to me, only to admit that they are starting to weigh on me and I have allowed them to discourage me. That is my challenge, something I need to work on.

THANK YOU to all those to have been positive , encouraging, and have listened to me whine!