Sunday, October 16, 2011

Unzipped...


Unzipped...


I have heard the following quotes several times in the last few months... "You are too young to be going through this!" , "You don't look sick!" ,"Your too young to have a pacemaker!","You look fine to me" ( I had a nurse say that when I was in the hospital, not even looking at my chart or my vitals) ...


Of course I agree, with the fact that I feel too young to be going through this, but it just is. I cannot change it now. I must admit, that hearing people say these things to me is building into a frustration. How do a respond to any of these statements? "Oh I look fine, well then send me home, I must be OK, I don't really want to be here anyways!" "Or, I am too young, I am going to cancel this surgery and wait until I am 65!" I am glad I am being told I do not look sick, I certainly am not going for the "sickly" appearance! I try very hard to not look sick although I have feel like I look haggard at the end of the day a lot lately! I know that this post sounds a bit sarcastic or angry, especially for me. I have tried very hard to be positive in any thing that I put out into cyber space. I do not want to be "Debbie Downer", I want to be the person full of energy and positivity. I do feel like I have spots of being positive throughout this experience. Honestly, I am at the most positive emotionally and mentally being prepared to have the surgery than I have been during this entire journey. If I can single out this part of my life and put all the outside factors going on in my family , I am ready. I am ready to take this on and feel better! I feel like this is going to be the catalyst to feeling physically better. In fact I am so positive about how much better I will feel after the surgery, that I hope I am not setting myself up for disappointment!

So next time you see someone that is ill or is going through emotional issues, mentally unzip them! Not in a sexual way, I am not talking about unzipping clothing, think about unzipping the skin, and realizing that there is more going on inside people than the eye may see. I am not suggesting that you don't try to give encouraging words! I know I need those, and I have been surrounded by people that have blessed me with encouragement! Just take a moment, and think about the words you are saying, and what could be possible responses to those words?

I Hope that I am getting my point across well. I am not intending to judge statements people have made to me, only to admit that they are starting to weigh on me and I have allowed them to discourage me. That is my challenge, something I need to work on.

THANK YOU to all those to have been positive , encouraging, and have listened to me whine!

7 comments:

Dave and Betsy's Blog said...

Thank you Chel for sharing what it is like for you when people comment. I appreciate your honesty and you being real about what you're going through. I never see your posts as "debbie downers", just real and authentic. I will continue to have hope with you, about the surgery! You know how much I wish I could hug you!

Bets

Vicki said...

Extremely well said, Chel.

Next time I see ya, I'll hug you for Betsy and I both!

Jon Boy said...

it is hard Chel, being a DCM sufferer myself i have the same problems and i see both sides. i used to get annoyed but i now try to put them straight. It is easy for me when it is a friend but when it's someone who i don't know it becomes a little awkward...i can't stand on the tube because i have my ICD on my left side and if i hold onto the pole and the train jerks of quick or brakes it could rip the wires out from my heart. the problem came when earlier this year when i got a frozen shoulder...on my right side so i always like to sit or get near to a wall to hold against. people give me dirty looks when i don't give up my seat but i just smile.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Heather said...

Please email me! I have a question about your blog! :)

HeatherVonsj@gmail.com

David said...

Chel,

Please let us know how you are doing now. How did the surgery turn out?

I have had 4 pacemaker surgeries in the past 9 years, and I wish you the very best.

David

Chel said...

Thanks for asking David- I am going to post an update today. I am doing very well! I had my six week check at the Cleveland Clinic this week, and it went very well! Everything is healing. I have had trouble adjusting to how the unit feels when I sleep, it moved under my armptit a bit, and they said that was OK...but it husts when I sleep on it or cross my arm over...
May I ask why you have had to have so many pacemakers in a short time? Are you having complications?