Baby you and me... we have a groovy kind of love...

As Lyndsay nears her 20th birthday, it has been evoking a lot of memories from the time I found out I was pregnant with her... I could write an essay about how I felt , but rather than that today I feel like just posting a list of words that reflected that time period in my life...Someday, maybe I will elaborate...

• FEAR
• JUDGED
  
• WORRIED
• ANGRY
• REGRETFUL
• SECRETIVE
• ASHAMED
• CONFUSED
  
• TORN
• ALONE
• SAD
• SEPARATED
• DECIDED
• JOYFUL
• RELIEVED
• STRONG
• PROUD
• FORGIVEN
• BLESSED
• APPREHENSIVE
• FAT
• CONFIDENT
• INSECURE
• PROTECTIVE
• SELFLESS
• SELFISH
• DEPENDENT
• NAIVE
  
• WEAK
• AWESTRUCK

This list could go on and on, as a single 18 turning 19 year old, this time of my life was overwhelming. So many things changed from one choice I made, and then I was forced to make a lot of other life altering choices. I am so blessed that I made the choice I did to keep this child...and yet I have so much compassion and heartbreak for any one in this position, and it has taught me to be loving and compassionate to any young person who has to suddenly start making very adult decisions, I can confidently say that I will not judge any young woman for her regrets, poor choices, decisions made during a time like this. A lot of times she is alone, and has kept the weight of these choices 100% on her own shoulders. I wonder if, and how we can equip our young women to be good decision makers? To my friends, and anyone else that happens to read this, and has been in this situation, I Love you, I understand...
A note on the picture... this is the ONLY newborn picture I have of Lyndsay and myself...it got triple exposed, and in a bittersweet way, it reflects my mindset that day, a nurse came in about a half hour before this and asked me when my husband was coming to visit...I was confused, I was in a lot of pain, I was scared, and I was clueless on how to care for this child. I sang her a song that day... Phil Collins Groovy Kind of love.