I have good days and bad days, and this one is...

You are probably wondering why I put this photo on with this post...it is because this was a good day, I have many, this was a really good one, it was almost a year ago, and my toes were in the warm sand on Longboat Key...the other reason, is because of my tattoo...I chose the tattoo with a lot of thought over a year ago on my 40th birthday. It says "Thank You" in several different languages. I love culture and language, but I also am a very thankful person, sometimes I forget that part of "me"...I need to focus on what I am thankful for. I feel that when one is going through emotional or physical trauma (in my case my health and the stuff going on with Leah) that our emotions tend to default to negative emotions. I feel like we need to be very intentional about being positive an work at it. I am trying very hard to do this. My new canned response when someone asks me how I am doing is "I have good days and bad days, today seems like a good one!" , I need to mix it up a bit so my response is more authentic and sincere, but this is my first attempt at getting back to my core ,the positive ,and thankful me.

I do want to be very careful not to be fake or nonchalant, because there is some really serious tough shit going on in my life. I can not pretend like it is not happening, but I also can find the positive in every situation, and I have a huge list of things to be thankful for.

I want to feel JOY! I am ready for it! Bring it on!

-Chel